even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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