i just google imaged poop.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
