You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
