It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
dude. I can hear the air.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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