So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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