Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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