last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
he thought i was a dude.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
