I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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