He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
