**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Tell her she can't have a vagina
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
