It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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