there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
