Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
