fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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