I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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