Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
