Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
if i died would you start the facebook group?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Randomize
