STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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