I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
