would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
COCAINE IS GR8
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize