Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize