More tranny stories later!
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
