I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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