Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
