why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
