Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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