I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
