Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I enjoy the company of your penis
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