no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
