I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
