Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
