NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
3pm strippers are depressing
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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