tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
