Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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