Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
