im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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