I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
