We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
