Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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