Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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