Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
We were destined to go to rehab together
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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