we made out on top of his cat.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Randomize
