sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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