Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just cut my nipple shaving
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
