So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
