Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
