So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
