if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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