you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
