when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
