It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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