This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
