You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
