i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
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