I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Panties = found
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
