Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
