I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
