the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Randomize
