Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
