whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
